Don't eat it if it's BLUE
Several years ago, my friend Laural made an excellent point - blue food doesn't occur in nature. Even blueberries are more of an indigo or purple color if you want to be specific. So where did we come up with things like blue raspberry? Personally I think whoever decided raspberries were or should be blue was looking at them stoned through the wrong side of some of those cheap 3D glasses. But at the top of the horrifying red to blue food transition list is Heintz Stellar Blue Ketchup.
I will never claim to understand why someone would want their hot dog to look as if it were growing radioactive slime mold. And what the fuck is up with this picture?? Are those onion rings? Do we usually put ketchup on onion rings? And if we do, do we squirt it all over like we're enacting some kind of ritualistic food bukkake?
So let this be our lesson for the day - just say no to blue food.
A question that remains to be answered: Why did my google image search for blue ketchup bring up an asian baby, teletubbies, and a German fruitcake?
I will never claim to understand why someone would want their hot dog to look as if it were growing radioactive slime mold. And what the fuck is up with this picture?? Are those onion rings? Do we usually put ketchup on onion rings? And if we do, do we squirt it all over like we're enacting some kind of ritualistic food bukkake?
So let this be our lesson for the day - just say no to blue food.
A question that remains to be answered: Why did my google image search for blue ketchup bring up an asian baby, teletubbies, and a German fruitcake?
posted by spazfilly at 11:44 AM
7 Comments:
Blueberries are not blue, or you don't think they occur in nature? ;-)
Ahh, you caught me! When I first put up this post I accidentally deleted the whole damn thing right before I published. So when I rewrote it I forgot to add the bit about blueberries. It's back in now, though!
Ugh. Ew. Ick. Blech. I hate colored ketchup/catsup/however you want to spell it. An old roommate thought the purple stuff was the best ever. He also liked the green. Talk about revolting...it turned my stomach. Ketchup should not be colors other than red...it's not natural. Would you eat green meat, for example? (And screw you "Green Eggs and Ham" people...that's different.)
On a side note: food bukkake. That nearly made me spit my coffee. Nice.
Red Ketchup isn't exactly natural either ;) They just felt it would sell better than its default grey green state.
Having tried tried Jake's green and purple versions of this stuff, it really does taste the same, though dipping food into bright colors is abit.... odd.
If we care to be serious about this for a moment, this goes back to a conversation Smottical and I were having earlier about how Americans eat too much processed food and shit we just don't need to put in our bodies. Like radioactively bright artificial food coloring. While I imagine most ketchup is artificially colored, there is the possibility that it could be made red with natural pigments, much like the orange varieties of Annie's mac and cheese. Last I checked, glowing green is not a color that occurs nature in any sort of edible form.
If we care to not be serious, the mention of blue raspberry is totally making me crave a snowcone! Forget the previous comments about hyper-processed and artificially colored foods - SUGAR IS GOOOOD!
And "food bukkake" has to be the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Way way way way way way back when.. one of your aunts used to live in Paw Paw, Illinois and when I'd go to IL for a couple of weeks in the summer as a 12/13/14 year old, we'd go visit her in Paw Paw. The general store there still had a soda fountain/ice cream counter and our favorite flavor was called Blue Moon. It was that noxious color of blue.. I'm not sure what flavor it actually claimed to be, but it was rich and smoooth and creamy, perfect for a hot summer day in picture-postcard perfect small town America. :)
Having said that.. ketchup should not be blue, green, teal or any color other than tomato red. :)
Even my kid won't eat blue crap on his fries.
Damned If I Know
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