Give your teddy bear a "special" hug!
Yeah, I know I never update this thing. But let's face it - nobody cares anyway. This next installment is something that has been bothering me ever since I went into an adult store and saw "Paulchen" the worm staring me down with a cheery expression on his little green face. Yes, I understand the need for g-spot stimulation. Yes, I understand the need for a nice ribbed texture. What I do not understand is the need for this tool to have a FACE.
Please, someone explain why shoving a worm in your coot is erotic. Maybe it's because I have a touch of the OCD, but all I can think about is infection and disease. If you see a worm hanging out of someone's nether regions, (especially on the first date, God forbid) usually the reaction will be enthusiastic, but more in the way that one is enthusiastic about getting out of a fart-laden elevator.
At least in the case of "Fritzzz the snake" there is some kind of applicable metaphor, although I admit I think his face is even more disturbing than that of the worm. He looks at you as if to say "have any of your other loverssss been able to sssstimulate your g-spot with their entire head?" Not to mention the fact that his tongue hanging out like that gives him the expression of an enthusiastically drunk frat boy in Montana who has just found a sheep with its head through a fence.
Something I'd never seen in a store but had the misfortune of stumbling across on the internet was this charmer:
Charlie the chimp comes with quite a banana. And my final thought for the day - I guess if you're over 20 and still have a teddy bear, it might as well have a 6" spiked dick.
Please, someone explain why shoving a worm in your coot is erotic. Maybe it's because I have a touch of the OCD, but all I can think about is infection and disease. If you see a worm hanging out of someone's nether regions, (especially on the first date, God forbid) usually the reaction will be enthusiastic, but more in the way that one is enthusiastic about getting out of a fart-laden elevator.
At least in the case of "Fritzzz the snake" there is some kind of applicable metaphor, although I admit I think his face is even more disturbing than that of the worm. He looks at you as if to say "have any of your other loverssss been able to sssstimulate your g-spot with their entire head?" Not to mention the fact that his tongue hanging out like that gives him the expression of an enthusiastically drunk frat boy in Montana who has just found a sheep with its head through a fence.
Something I'd never seen in a store but had the misfortune of stumbling across on the internet was this charmer:
Charlie the chimp comes with quite a banana. And my final thought for the day - I guess if you're over 20 and still have a teddy bear, it might as well have a 6" spiked dick.
posted by spazfilly at 7:16 AM
2 Comments:
Hehehe.. those don't bother me nearly as much as the blue ketchup. ;) Blowfish.com also has a bit of an explanation about this in their Koi vibrator description. (NSFW!) Koi. "One of the sillier and more amusing styles of the Japanese battery-operated vibrators, the Koi has a vibrating fish attachment (how could we possibly resist?) for clitoral stimulation, in addition to the vibrating and rotating and squirming main shaft part with the tumbling beads and stuff. (In case you were wondering, the deal with these weird shapes is that Japanese law prohibits the manufacture and sale of anatomically correct sex toys, so they make them in the shape of fish and beavers and Marlo Thomas hairdos and such. Necessity is definitely the mother of invention.)"
Gotta love that Blowfish.
I'm reminded of a scene from Annie Hall:
Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana?
Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg.
You ask that kind of question you get that kind of answer :-)
Post a Comment
<< Home