The Quest for Convenience
There are many things the world would be better off without. Blue food. Donkey porn. George W. Bush. Among these distasteful items we can now count the following:
Who the hell decided that corndogs needed a crackbaby white trash cousin? With shit flecks, no less? It's like someone took a corndog, infused it with sugar and twice the amount of grease necessary, and then used it as a prop in a scat porno.
This horror was introduced to me through a friend's anecdote of a grocery store trip gone awry. I still await the explanation of why they were shopping for laundry detergent in the frozen foods section, but perhaps it was fate that led them to discover this festering zit on the underarm of the food industry.
Don't get me wrong; I like sausage. I've even gone so far as to say that sausage is the apple in the garden of my vegetarianism. Nevertheless, I reckon that this food product contains about as much genuine sausage as a vegan tofu head cheese.
And here is a quote from my friend that about sums it up:
"He just spent ten minutes describing how much he loved the 'retarded autistic cousin of a corndog' breakfast ON A STICK he had this morning (warm cup of syrup and all). I find this more disturbing than the product itself. These things must have been marketed towards 5 year olds, but yet here we find a 34 year old man just a bit too happy about them. I don’t care if he is fat and lazy; the quest for convenience has gone too far."
Who the hell decided that corndogs needed a crackbaby white trash cousin? With shit flecks, no less? It's like someone took a corndog, infused it with sugar and twice the amount of grease necessary, and then used it as a prop in a scat porno.
This horror was introduced to me through a friend's anecdote of a grocery store trip gone awry. I still await the explanation of why they were shopping for laundry detergent in the frozen foods section, but perhaps it was fate that led them to discover this festering zit on the underarm of the food industry.
Don't get me wrong; I like sausage. I've even gone so far as to say that sausage is the apple in the garden of my vegetarianism. Nevertheless, I reckon that this food product contains about as much genuine sausage as a vegan tofu head cheese.
And here is a quote from my friend that about sums it up:
"He just spent ten minutes describing how much he loved the 'retarded autistic cousin of a corndog' breakfast ON A STICK he had this morning (warm cup of syrup and all). I find this more disturbing than the product itself. These things must have been marketed towards 5 year olds, but yet here we find a 34 year old man just a bit too happy about them. I don’t care if he is fat and lazy; the quest for convenience has gone too far."
posted by spazfilly at 5:41 PM
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